Deeper than
by starlet715
Summary: A HarryHermione fic...Basically set in the summer following Harry's fifth year. Harry now knows what he is, and somehow he manages to pull it together, with the help of his friends. His calm demeanor confuses everyone, including himself, but for how lon


AN : Ok well, this isn't my first fanfiction, but it's the first one that I like XD Flames are welcome as long as there is a point to them. Btw I LOVE reviews cough ... hint

Chapter One

Temporary Sanity

Harry sat at his desk, watching the sky darken outside his window. He was smiling slightly. It was the second week of Summer Vacation and Harry couldn't help being in somewhat high spirits. It was only a week ago that he had been tearing himself apart, trying to find answers within himself that he now understood, he didn't have. He now understood that no matter how many times he played over the deaths of his mother and father, Cedric, and finally his Godfather Sirius Black in his head, he would never bring them back. The thought was terrible, though strangely comforting. The pain of this single thought was overshadowed with guilt for each and every death. The guilt had torn him apart before, but now the guilt fired his desire to avenge all of their deaths. He would not let them die in vain. He had to repay the debt of death in his name. He was now aware that he was the one.

The prophecy had confirmed it. Harry had now, a definite link with Voldemort. He no longer spent hours wondering if it was some mad twist of fate that only he lived. Before the prophecy, his famous scar seemed too insignificant to forge a real connection between him and Voldemort. He lived in denial. Praying each day that he would never have to face the dark force, that had slowly began to control his life. The uncertainty had almost killed him. The prophecy had confirmed his greatest fear. He would be the one to, so to speak, wield the sword. He felt like it was something that he knew all along in the inside. Now that the uncertainty was behind him, he knew what he had to do. There was just no turning back, he had no choice. He didn't want to do it...it was terrible for anyone to carry that kind of burden. But Harry felt that, whoever it is that chooses a persons fate, must've had the idea that Harry was the type of person that would be able to shoulder the weight of the world. How they came to such a conclusion was lost on him though.

He sighed. Over the last week and a half, he had also confronted one fearsome thought. Suppose he failed? One must die at the hand of the other. Oddly enough, he was not afraid of death, just afraid of failure and what it meant. If it could be done, then Harry was the only one who could vanquish the dark lord. If he failed, then the world, both muggle and wizardry was doomed. It wasn't a very pleasant thought for your average 16 year old wizard. Well if he had to do it...then he might as well be prepared. He would do whatever it took to get rid of Voldemort. Failing was just not an option. Harry was consumed by a fiery desire to prove himself. His years of being scared would not be in vain. Somehow when the time came he would, he had to, fulfill his destiny. And that was why he was at his desk, writing a letter to someone who he needed help from. Hermione.

He had been in contact with both of his best friends. Ron sent him trivial news about Ginny, the twins antics, Mrs. Weasleys terrifying frying pan, and such daily. Harry enjoyed Ron's letters. They were humorous and made him smile. Ron talked about making plans for them to get together this summer, for Hermione was at her home for now. Her parents had gone to South France again, Hermione's grandmother had a bad fall and was told to stay in bed. Hermione chose to stay home..."so she could study" She really stayed to be there for Harry. So, now she was at home alone. Harry worried about her immensely. He didn't like her being at home by herself, even if it was just for this week. He worried about her health. She still hadn't fully recovered from that spell that left her unconscious. Harry alone knew very well that she had faked better to get out of the Hospital Wing. She was even looking pale at the end of Year feast, Harry remembered her pushing her food around on her plate. He frowned as he remembered the few moments when he thought her dead. The panic in him was something that he had never experienced before, and feebly hoped that he would never again.

He wondered if maybe he shouldn't write this letter to her now... maybe she wasn't ready for it yet. He felt like a coward, putting his words in writing rather than saying them to her face, but he couldn't bare to see girls cry, especially Hermione. He sighed wearily once again and began to pen his letter, that would tell Hermione about the prophecy. His excuse for telling her before Ron was that he wanted to borrow any books that she might have on the dark arts. Plus he wanted to tell Ron alone, not when he was with his family, where Mrs. Weasley was sure to get wind of it. He felt bad, but Mrs. Weasley just wasn't something that he could deal with, with a clear conscience. He knew that it would brake her heart...and that was something that he didn't want to be responsible for.

He wasn't sure where to begin this kind of letter. He made several attempts which now lay in the bin. Finally, he decided to just stick with his gut feeling.

Dear Mione,

Sorry for not replying faster. How are you feeling? Better, I hope. There's something that's been weighing heavily on me the last few days. I need to tell you and Ron about it, and I'm finding myself procrastinating more and more everyday. So please, forgive me in advance for what I must tell you. I hate to bring up painful memories, and this one in particular causes me great pain to share...

If you can remember, in the Department of Mysteries, the prophecy? I'm not sure if you know this because I believe at the time you were being carried by Neville, but it smashed. Later on that day, when Dumbledore took me in his office, he shared with me a copy of what that prophecy said. The contents were of course to do with me. I was absolutely stunned, as years of questions were answered in a few seconds. The prophecy explained to me the exact purpose of Voldemort's pursuit of me.

I think im stalling now, so I'd better get on with it.

"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches...born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies...and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he has power the Dark Lord knows not...and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives...the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies..."

I'm such a coward for not telling this to you face to face...and I feel like a total arse saying this, but please Hermione, don't feel sorry for me. I've done enough of that over the last few years, and it really has not done me any good. There's no point sitting on it, the only thing that I can do is try and prepare myself the best that I can. And this is where I need your help, I was wondering if you maybe had any books that I might be able to borrow for the holidays to help me. I need to get permission from Dumbledore first, but I am really interested in learning how to become an Animagus and learning how to aparate. Don't freak out Hermione, if he lets me, then it has to be safe. Maybe you and Ron should learn with me too. I daresay that it will be more than useful. Well I better send this with Hedwig before I change my mind.

-Harry

"Off you go Hedwig, straight to Hermione's house. Don't let her send a reply with you. Lets give her some time to think it through. Don't stay long there either ok?"

Hedwig nipped Harry's finger affectionately. She stretched her mighty wings and took flight through the open window; Hermione's letter tied to his leg.


End file.
